Week of Responsibility--Day One

I was recently reading a post by my favorite blogger, Allie Brosh at Hyperbole and a Half. She talks about how a few times a year she tries to be an adult, does really well for a while, and then reality--and hilarity--ensues. This article mirrored the past 25 years of my life (read: every moment since I've been able to make a mess, forget about it, not clean it up, then feel like a failure for being so messy). Here's the post if you want a reference point (note: some pretty strong language in parts, but good nonetheless).

Anyway, I am determined to change. I have to change. This week I am getting my house in order, and I will keep it that way, darn it!

Every day I will tackle a room, and finish it to completion. Then I will make a promise to the room to keep it that way. And because it is my new house, I will post pictures of the room when I am finished so everyone can see what the house looks like.

Here we go!

Day One--Kitchen.

Mr. Refrigerator, I promise to:

Clean out of you all food that smells weird, is expired, or looks like a biology experiment. I apologize for putting things in you and then forgetting about it. I no longer will allow food to drip on your shelves, which I am scrubbing today. I promise to turn off the ice maker when the ice bin is full. No longer will I allow your freezer's bottom shelf to become an overflow for ice cubes because that is wasteful. From hereon, I promise to remove leftovers that are more than a week old, and I will pay attention to expiration dates of perishables, especially milk and produce.

I so solemnly swear.

*Pause in writing while I go clean the fridge (12:30 P.M.)*

12:51

Laundry (my washer/dryer is in the kitchen)

Dear Laundry:

I hate you. You hate me. Our mutual hatred for each other goes back to the day I realized that you only keep clothes clean temporarily. While that was a sneaky trick on your part, I'm here to tell you that YOU WILL NOT BEAT ME! Dryer, you think it's cute that you wrinkle my clothes after they've been sitting in you for 3 days? Guess what!? I'm gonna take the clothes out of you AS SOON AS THEY'RE DONE! Yeah, how do you like them apples? And Washing Machine, you think that you can wait until my hamper (and bedroom) are overflowing to wash my clothes? Think again, buster! From now on YOU work for ME! You will be working at least 2-3 times a week, so get used to it, pal! And no more of this "I'll wash clothes that are clean already simply because the dryer wrinkled them up" business. My clothes are getting folded and put away in the dresser, so there!

Pause while I lay the smack down on laundry (12:59 P.M.)

4:13 P.M.

Okay, I'm tired of writing letters to individual parts of my kitchen, and I will condense my promise to a list:

I promise to:

-Put dishes in the dishwasher and not the sink
-Unload the dishwasher as soon as the dishes are done
-Wipe up all messes on the stove and counter
-Put my dishes away in an orderly fashion instead of cramming them in the cabinets and hoping they won't fall out.
-Keep the floor swept
-Water my plants
-Put snacks back in the pantry after I get them out.

So help me, Mr. Clean.

Ready for pictures? They posted backwards, but it's okay.

My mini-farm. I'm trying my hand at gardening--and I'm seeing growth!

Sink area with 1960's avocado green counter tops. Check out the colored glass on top though!

Other sink view. I have a weird island in the middle of the kitchen. I painted it to match my KitchenAid mixer.

The weird island also contains my stove. This view looks into the breakfast nook. The corner cabinet holds all my coffee making devices. Since the house is so old, I went with a "1950's diner" theme in the kitchen with records on the walls, and Kayla's bringing a Coke table as well!

The photo of the washer and dryer didn't post, but I'm not missing it. Just know it's on the other side of my stove and right next to the fridge--weird!!


Tomorrow I tackle......my bedroom!

Mystery Solved!!!

It was Kayla!!! She is doing service projects around here and stopped in for lunch.

I am so glad I'm not going to get murdered in my sleep!

There's something strange, in my neighborhood...

Something very odd is happening to me.

I have a phantom in my house. Or a ghost. Or a homeless person. I don't know what yet.
All I know is I'm starting to get freaked the crap out.

Either that or I have suddenly developed schizophrenia.

It started off very subtle. I'd come home and think "hmm..I don't remember getting that glass out, but oh well, I know I forget things." Or, "How did that box get there?" I really did think that I was just moving things and in my rush, not realizing that I had done it.

Yesterday things changed. And today I'm writing a blog about it.

I found an Arby's bag on my counter.

I haven't had Arby's in a few weeks. But even THEN I thought "Okay...uh...maybe my parents got Arby's on Monday when they were here and I didn't notice it for 3 days....yeah that's it! I don't have some crazy person using my kitchen when I'm not here....with a key to my house....and a desire for the blood of a 25 year old female..."


Today it went too far.


I got home from work and saw a glass of sweet tea on my table. I had water last night, not sweet tea. Still hopeful, yet starting to get really paranoid, I thought "Maybe it's Paul's?" However, Paul hadn't been to my house in several days, and I don't leave glasses of tea on the table.

Then I saw the ramen pot in my sink and the bowl with the fork in it. I KNOW I haven't eaten any ramen, plus I emptied my sink out last night. This is starting to get a bit ridonkulous.

I am trying to do some sleuthing, and I have come up with the following list of suspects:

-Marley and Abby
WHY THEY ARE GUILTY: Very smart, lots of free time, unlimited access to the kitchen.
WHY THEY ARE INNOCENT: No thumbs.
VERDICT: Innocent (for now)

-Me
WHY I AM GUILTY: I like ramen, sweet tea, and Arby's. I also forget things a lot and have a tendency to be messy.
WHY I AM INNOCENT: I'm not crazy, plus I'm gone at work all day when this is happening. Also, I put dishes in the dishwasher, not the sink.
VERDICT: Innocent

-Paul
WHY HE IS GUILTY: He has a key, likes Arby's (not sure about the ramen though), and he is able to go wherever he wants for lunch.
WHY HE IS INNOCENT: He works in Charlotte, and he said he didn't do it.
VERDICT: Innocent

-Kayla
WHY SHE IS GUILTY: She has a key, likes ramen, likes Arby's, and is my roommate. Aha!
WHY SHE IS INNOCENT: She's at church camp right now.
VERDICT: Innocent, although momentarily promising!

That's it! Those are all the people who have a key and a motive. I am completely at a loss for what is happening to me.

So I'm blogging about it.

Dear Mr./Miss. Phantom or Homeless Person,

Why do you come to my house for lunch? Aren't my dogs intimidating? Marley could eat your face off, you know that right? Okay, he obviously hasn't yet so you must have a way to charm him. Will you please tell me who you are? It is scaring me. If you are going to keep coming to my house, will you please put your dishes and trash away properly? I know my dishwasher was full today, so I can excuse that--but just note that for future reference, I put dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Also, I am sorry my house is so messy. I didn't know to expect intruders...uh...visitors, I mean. Thank you for throwing away Kayla's Buffalo Wild Wings box. That was very nice of you. But still...its creepy.

Have a good day!

Love,
Kerri